Things Teenagers Say: Volume 0

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2 Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say

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Before I ever started writing my Things Teenagers Say posts, I still blogged about the occasional memorable thing my students would say. I’ve decided to compile them here and call this Volume 0.

Things Teenagers Say

Student: “Somebody keeps texting me.”

Me: “Don’t they know you’re at school?”

Student: (sheepishly) “I text at school.”

Me: (appalled look)

Several other students: “Don’t worry. We don’t text in your class.”

Student: “I’m too unbored to text in your class.”

—

Student: “Ms. H, are you married?”

Me: “No.”

Another Student: “Does she look like she would be married?”

At this point in the conversation, I’m trying to figure out if I should be offended or what… After a few comments from other students that it wasn’t a very nice comment, the student clarifies: “Well, she isn’t wearing a ring or anything, so she doesn’t look like she would be married.” Was that what they really meant? I’ll probably never know…

—

One of my students walks by me in the hall wearing pajama pants and a sort-of hat made out of a tube of black fleece fabric with pink pigs. The other math teacher and I exchange a look of disbelief. Next, the librarian comes down and tells us that we will need to send the student to the office when he comes back by us for his dress code violation.

Since he is actually in my next period, I assure her that I will send him to the office. Well, he comes to the door, and I inform him that he will have to go to the office. Why? Well, you’re not allowed to wear pajamas at school. You’ll need to go to the office.

Instead of complying with my request, he says, “That’s okay, I’ll just take them off.” He then proceeds to pull down his pajama pants in the hall. The other math teacher and I are shocked. I mean, students don’t usually just start taking off their clothes in the hallway. Now, I’m going to have a bigger issue to deal with than a dress code violation. This is definitely not something they teach you how to deal with in your typical teacher education program. Luckily, he was wearing normal, dress code appropriate shorts under the pajama pants. I just didn’t know that at the time when he announced that he would just take off his pants.

—

Student: “Ms H, did you go to college?”

Me: “Yes.”

Student: “What college did you go to?”

Me: “The University of Tulsa. Why?”

Student: “Well, you have nice handwriting. And, I heard that people who went to college tend to have nice handwriting.”

—

Me: “Did someone take my scissors? I can’t find them.” (A student had recently came to my desk and borrowed something. I thought it might have been my scissors when I couldn’t find them…)

Students: “No.”

(A few minutes later, I found them under my interactive notebook and next to the document camera…)

Me: “I found them.”

Student: “So we didn’t take them.”

Me: “No, you didn’t. I apologize for blaming you.”

Student: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, I apologize. I shouldn’t have assumed that one of you had taken them when I couldn’t find them.”

Student: “You’re the only teacher I have ever heard apologize to their class.”

Me: “Really?”

Other Student: “Yes, teachers never apologize when they blame students for something they didn’t do.”

The rest of the class agrees with this statement and adds supporting details.

Another Student: “Thank you for apologizing.”

Another Student: “Yes, thank you for apologizing. I appreciate it.”

—

Students are working 2 bellwork problems on factoring. I am typing up the next 5 review problems to project on the Smart Board.

Student: “We need help.”

Me: “Okay. Let me finish typing this problem, and then I would love to help you.”

Student: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, I would love to help you. Let me just finish typing this, and I will be right there.”

Student: “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard a teacher say that they would love to help us.”

Other Student: “Yeah. Most teachers don’t like helping students. They don’t like it when we ask questions. No teacher has ever told us they would love to help us.”

These students then proceed to tell me about teachers ignoring them when they raise their hands.

—

Student: “Can I go to talk to the principal?”
Me: “No.”
Student: “Why not?”
Me: “He’s not here today.”
Student: “Why? Where’s he at?”
Me: “He’s at a workshop.”
Another student: “Is he at Santa’s workshop?”

—

“How can vegetarians eat sandwiches?”

—

Student: “Do you want to look at this?” (This student has just handed me a blue folder that is completely full of his math assignments from last year.)
Me: “Sure.”
Student: “So, what do you think? Can I get some extra points for it?”
Me: “What?”
Student: “I was hoping that you would give me thirty extra points for it.”
Me: “This is from last year. It’s not for this class. I’m sorry, but I can’t give you any extra credit for having last year’s assignments.”
Student: “I was hoping that if I kept it that I would get some extra points for it. That’s okay. I’ll take it to [the other math teacher.] He’ll give me some extra points for it.”
Me: “But, he’s not your teacher. How will he give you extra points?”
Student: “That doesn’t matter. He can still give me extra points.”

—

“Guys, it’s three days until Hanukkah. I know this because I asked for a dreidl for Christmas.”

—

Student: “Why did you write ‘crosses x-axis’ when you said ‘crosses the x-axis?”’
Me: “We don’t always write out article adjectives when taking notes.”
Student: “What’s an article adjective?”

—

Student: “Are we your favorite class?”
Me: “I plead the fifth.”
Student: “So, fifth hour is your favorite class?”