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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 13

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Me: More work and less selfies!

Algebra 2 is probably the math class I learned the most in.  I love the notebooks.  They were my favorite thing.

Me: I want to be a spy.
Student: You’d be a good one.  No one would ever expect you would be a spy!  

Was that a compliment or an insult?  

While playing Taboo  

Student 1: This is what you call the person who comes into your house to put carpet down.
Student 2: Carpenter.
Student 1: Yes! Me: Hold up!  A carpenter doesn’t install carpet.  A carpenter is a skilled woodworker.
Student 1:  It doesn’t matter if my clue was right.  All that matters is that I got her to say the right word.

My sister said that I have to start calling her my cousin when we are out in public together.  If I don’t greet her, “Hey Cousin!”, she said she was going to stop talking to me.

Student: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Me: Because 7 8 9.  (Seven Ate Nine)
Student: No.  Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

I always make sure I ask a guy at least a few questions about himself before I agree to date him.  

Yes, that would be wise!

Usually, I don’t eavesdrop too much on my students’ conversations.  But every once in a while, there are those pieces of conversation that just jump out at you.  And, you can’t help but listen.    

Student 1: The store across the street turned out to be a lingerie store.
Student 2: A lingerie store?!?
Student 1: Yes Student 2: You mean a store with like brassieres and stuff?  

Hearing a freshman boy use the word “brassiere” was almost too much for me.  He said it like it was the most normal thing to say.  

You have the cutest cough ever.


After getting my hair cut over Spring Break:  

You don’t look like us anymore.  You actually look like a teacher.

Student: Do you want to watch this video?
Me: No. Student: But, it’s sick!
Me: If it’s sick, I especially don’t want to watch it.
Student: You need to update yourself.  Sick means cool and legit.
Me: Oh, so I need to update myself so I can understand your teenage lingo?
Student: Yes!  You need to update to IOS7!

Me: How do people decide where to drill for oil?
Student: That’s easy.  You just look for where the grass is really green!
Me: What?
Student: Good oil grows where the grass is green.

I’m pretty sure that’s NOT how it works…

After taking down all of my decorations and posters for the summer  

Your room is naked!  It needs to put some clothes on before it gets charged with indecent exposure!

Me: What comes to mind when you think of algebra?
Student: Nothing.  Nothing comes to mind because algebra destroyed my mind!

Me: Would it be possible for a factory to produce negative bicycles?
Student: Yes, if the brand name of the bicycles was negative, a factory could produce negative bicycles.
Me: That’s not exactly what I meant, but touche.

How long would Ms. Hagan last in a pen with carnivorous pigs?

We’re not friends.  We’re giggle buddies.

After wearing contacts for the first time:   

Contacts make you look more serious.  

You have blue eyes!  

You don’t look as smart when you wear contacts.  


Ms. Hagan has some smarticles.

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