Things Teenagers Say: Volume 13

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Me: More work and less selfies!

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Algebra 2 is probably the math class I learned the most in. I love the notebooks. They were my favorite thing.

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Me: I want to be a spy.
Student: You’d be a good one. No one would ever expect you would be a spy!

Was that a compliment or an insult?

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While playing Taboo…

Student 1: This is what you call the person who comes into your house to put carpet down.
Student 2: Carpenter.
Student 1: Yes! Me: Hold up! A carpenter doesn’t install carpet. A carpenter is a skilled woodworker.
Student 1: It doesn’t matter if my clue was right. All that matters is that I got her to say the right word.

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My sister said that I have to start calling her my cousin when we are out in public together. If I don’t greet her, “Hey Cousin!”, she said she was going to stop talking to me.

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Student: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Me: Because 7 8 9. (Seven Ate Nine)
Student: No. Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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I always make sure I ask a guy at least a few questions about himself before I agree to date him.

Yes, that would be wise!

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Usually, I don’t eavesdrop too much on my students’ conversations. But every once in a while, there are those pieces of conversation that just jump out at you. And, you can’t help but listen.

Student 1: The store across the street turned out to be a lingerie store.
Student 2: A lingerie store?!?
Student 1: Yes Student 2: You mean a store with like brassieres and stuff?

Hearing a freshman boy use the word “brassiere” was almost too much for me. He said it like it was the most normal thing to say.

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You have the cutest cough ever.

Thanks?

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After getting my hair cut over Spring Break:

You don’t look like us anymore. You actually look like a teacher.

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Student: Do you want to watch this video?
Me: No. Student: But, it’s sick!
Me: If it’s sick, I especially don’t want to watch it.
Student: You need to update yourself. Sick means cool and legit.
Me: Oh, so I need to update myself so I can understand your teenage lingo?
Student: Yes! You need to update to IOS7!

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Me: How do people decide where to drill for oil?
Student: That’s easy. You just look for where the grass is really green!
Me: What?
Student: Good oil grows where the grass is green.

I’m pretty sure that’s NOT how it works…

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After taking down all of my decorations and posters for the summer

Your room is naked! It needs to put some clothes on before it gets charged with indecent exposure!

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Me: What comes to mind when you think of algebra?
Student: Nothing. Nothing comes to mind because algebra destroyed my mind!

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Me: Would it be possible for a factory to produce negative bicycles?
Student: Yes, if the brand name of the bicycles was negative, a factory could produce negative bicycles.
Me: That’s not exactly what I meant, but touche.

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How long would Ms. Hagan last in a pen with carnivorous pigs?

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We’re not friends. We’re giggle buddies.

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After wearing contacts for the first time:

Contacts make you look more serious.

You have blue eyes!

You don’t look as smart when you wear contacts.

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Ms. Hagan has some smarticles.