Things Teenagers Say: Volume 27

Happy Monday!  Hope you have a week full of crazy teenagers saying crazy things.  If you’re not that lucky, here’s a taste of the conversations that have gone on in my classroom lately  🙂

—

Ms. Hagan, if you die, I want your pi necklace.

—

I had a party with my fridge this weekend.  My fridge is my boyfriend.  He feeds me all the time.

—

Me: I’m not sure if sitting on this wobbly desk was the best decision.
Student: Don’t worry.  Vegetarians can’t break wood.

—

Student: Ms. Hagan, what would you do if you woke up tomorrow with no eyebrows?
Me: I’d cry.

—

Isn’t Oprah like an opera singer?

—

What do Americans eat when they’re hungry? A hamburger. Except Ms. Hagan. She eats a carrot.

—

Are you sure you are really a human? You like math too much.

—

Ms. Hagan, would you like to buy some ribs?  Oh wait.  You’re a vegetarian.  Oh wait. You could feed them to your cats.

—

Me: Keep your phone away unless you want me to keep it for the rest of the day. Hey, that rhymes!

—

Can I ask a question?  I’m curious about something.  I know curiosity killed the cat. But, I’m not a cat. And, I’m not ready to die. If I was going to die, I want it to be in a cool way so I can be remembered.

—

If somebody punched Betty White, she’d probably turn to dust.

—

Penelope is a princess name.

—

I bet your boyfriend would give us the answers to our test if he were here…

—

Me: Please take off the welding mask during class.

—

You are like my grandma. You have to make yourself laugh to smile in a picture.

—

I bet you met your boyfriend on catladiesonly.com

—

Ms. Hagan, your eyebrow game is weak.

—

Student: Is your sweater soft?
Me: Yeah.
Student: It reminds me of a washcloth.

—

I’m like a fish who fell out of the water 10 days ago.

—

They let angels teach Algebra 2?

—

Can we watch exorcism videos on youtube if we get done with our assignment early?

—

My hair isn’t nappy. It’s hot.

—

Ms. Hagan, I had to get up at 10:30 to help catch some cats. It made me think of you.

—

Australia has a queen?!?

—

Student 1: You don’t look like the person who would own a duck.
Student 2: Yeah, you look like a rabbit person.

—

Me: Put away all your phones and ouija boards.

—

You have cat earrings on. I’m silently judging you, cat lady.

—

Student 1: Your hair looks great.
Student 2: I feel like I got tasered, so I don’t really care.

—

[Student] is a bad word.

—

Can I give up? Never mind. I’ll use some of the strategies I’ve learned.

—

I’m keeping my notebook forever. I’m going to put it in my hope chest.

—

Student: You should download the aa app.  It’s so addictive.
Me: I don’t need any more addictions in my life.
Student: What else are you addicted to?
Another Student: Cats.

—

Student 1: You need to have a baby. It will help mellow you out.
Student 2: I feel like if Ms. Hagan was pregnant, she would be super crazy and kill us all.

—

I worked really hard to get these wrong answers, okay?

—

I don’t know where to buy one. I’ve looked at Vera Bradley. I’ve looked at all the rich people stores.

—

What if someone got married on Pi Day and their cake had 3.14 tiers. Wouldn’t that be cool?