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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 33

Happy Monday!  Let’s celebrate with a new edition of Things Teenagers Say.  Seeing as I only have three more days after today with students, this will probably be the last volume for the school year.  Yay for summer!

Things Teenagers Say Logo

I’m about to go hug a tree if you don’t stop it.

This paper is so thin it makes me look fat.

Me: Today’s reflection form is titled “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.”  Does anyone know where that comes from?
Student: Of course.  OU is good.  OSU is bad.  The Texas Longhorns are ugly.

It’s not cheating; it’s looking for inspiration.

Student 1: What time is it?
Student 2: Time for you to check your phone yourself to see what time it is.

Oh how times have changed!  

Why have kids when you can have cats?

Student 1: Do you see that orange apple thing?
Student 2: You mean the pumpkin?

Pumpkin Decorating Hanging Above Heart Sign with Pi Symbol Printed On It

Ms. Hagan, you should make an origami snake.  Then, you could eat it, and it wouldn’t be against your religion.

Student 1: What are you wearing to the sports banquet?
Student 2: Clothes.

Student: Ms. Hagan, you could run for president.
Me: You do realize that I’m not old enough to be president, right?
Student: You could always be president of Cuba.

Student 1: You’re the problem.
Student 2: You’re the solution.

Pencil me up, someone!

I think Einstein would have been a hippie!

Ms. Hagan, we’re not in the hood!

Student: Should I have my present math teacher or my future math teacher sign this enrollment form?
Me: I don’t think it matters.
Student: Well, you’re going to be both of them, so I guess I’ll have you sign it.

Ms. Hagan, will your key to the city open up the donut shop?

I don’t think you’d be a very good comedian person.


2, 3, 5, 7.  Prime numbers won’t matter when you’re living in heaven.

My neighbor looks like skinny Jesus.  My dad looks like fat Jesus.

This lesson on radicals is radiculous.

You’re not going to believe this, but my cat took off with my notes.

What did you get for Mother’s Day, Ms. Hagan?
I’m not a mother.
You mean you didn’t get any kitty litter?

While playing Google Feud…  The question was: “What happens if you microwave…”  Students were supposed to finish the sentence with a commonly googled term.

Student 1: What happens if you microwave a cat?
Student 2: People microwave snakes more often than they microwave cats.

It actually smells like a classroom in here for once.

Student: Ms. Hagan, can I walk aimlessly around the school?
Me: Uh…no.
Student: But, there are no decorations in here.  I’m bored.

What about the abdominal snowman?

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say


Monday 11th of May 2015

These are priceless, Sarah. Thanks for the day-brightener!

- Elizabeth (@cheesemonkeysf)

Sarah Carter (@mathequalslove)

Tuesday 12th of May 2015

You're welcome, Elizabeth!