Things Teenagers Say: Volume 36

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It’s been a while since the last things teenagers say, so I decided it was time to remedy that.

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[About the A/B/Not Yet Grading System]

I hate the system, but I love the system!

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You can’t be rich and be in college.

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Student: Can I use the bingo chips on my quiz?
Me: Sure.
Another Student: That’s cheating! If I can’t use google, you can’t use bingo chips.

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October 81st and a half? What kind of world do we live in?

[For the record, it was October 81 to the 1/2 power. But, my Algebra 1 students haven’t learned about that yet…]

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Lions don’t keep secrets, and secrets don’t keep lions.

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What’s a key? Oh, it’s that thing your mother gave me to her heart.

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Student: Why do you have a sign about cats being carelessly killed?
Me: I don’t know…
Student: That’s no bueno.

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Student: There’s someone knocking on the outside door. Can I go let them in so they stop knocking?
Me: Sure.
Student: [Leaves for 10 seconds tops before coming back] There’s no door!

[To understand this, you need to realize that my classroom is on the second floor. The door that was being knocked on was on the first floor.]

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Student: Will you be here after school?
Me: I should be unless my landlord calls me about fixing my plumbing problem. It’s kinda important.
Student: You could solve it by just putting in an outhouse.

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Isn’t a histogram when you can’t have kids?

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Me: The line between the numerator and denominator is known as the vinculum. That’s a fun fact that you could share with people at a party.
Student: Do you want us to get beat up?

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Quit your low self esteem!

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This makes me want to commit mathicide.

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Student: Are you going to tell us the answer to the puzzle if we don’t figure it out?
Me: Nope.
Student: But, this isn’t Petals Around the Rose. You didn’t make a promise!

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Me: When we were talking about finding the center, we had to choose between mean and median. You’ve been dealing with those since back in elementary school. For spread, you’re going to have to choose between interquartile range and standard deviation. Now, we’ve never heard of those, right?

Student: Oh, we’ve been dealing with those since back in ‘Nam.

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You got more glue sticks?!? I love life!

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I’m a predator.

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I miss this class. You kept us from knowing we were learning. In my other classes, it’s obvious and painful.

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My goat friends are talking to me.

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Would you like some epsilon salt on your pi?

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Me: I don’t need you making pigeon noises.
Student: That’s a quail.

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Take away her phone. I’ll give you $20 if you do it. Think about all the salad you could buy.

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It’s funny how fast the time goes by when you’re doing math.

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Isn’t Skillet metal?
No, it’s cast iron.

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Me: Focus on your quiz!
Student: How can I focus on my quiz when I’ve got fingernails being flung at my face?

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say