Things Teenagers Say: Volume 38

It’s been quite a while since the last Things Teenagers Say.  My students have been getting antsy for me to post a new one, so here it is!

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Why does my infinity symbol look like a pizza?

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Me: Sorry, I’m a germophobe.
Student: Hey!  Germs have feelings, too!

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Student: Are you a germophobe?  You’re always using hand sanitizer.
Me: I don’t know who has touched that before, and I don’t want to get sick.  Just think, the person sitting in your desk last hour could have had a cold.
Student:  I think you just turned me into a germophobe!

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Starting over in relationships is awkward.

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Student 1: I didn’t know you worked at [a steakhouse].  Does that mean you could cook me a mean sirloin?
Student 2: Uh…
Student 1: That was a test.  I like my sirloin nice.

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Student 1: I really want to know if I’m still going to be listening to Drake when I’m 80.
Student 2: You won’t be able to hear when you’re 80.

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Is -1 times -1 kind of an awkward positive?

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Student 1: We need to have a jam session.
Student 2: [Explaining] It’s where you make jelly in groups.

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I don’t have tighty whities.  I have Fruit of the Loom Boxer Briefs!

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The woman takes the man’s name.  It’s in the Geneva Convention.

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It’s satisfying how thick our notebooks are!

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You can love someone and cheat on them.  A lot of people think you can’t, but you can.

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Student 1: For a rich guy, he sure had a bad haircut!  [Pointing to a poster of Einstein]
Me: Was he rich?
Student 1: He did invent the light.  He had to be rich.
Me: Einstein didn’t invent the light bulb.  Class, who invented the light bulb?
Student 2: Benjamin Franklin?
Me: No.
Student 3: Thomas Jefferson?
Me: No.
Student 4: President Eisenhower?
Me: Definitely not.
Student 5: I think his name was Thomas.
Me: Yes…
Student 5: Thomas Edison!
Me: Yes!  Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.

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I’d eat my baby if I was starving.

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say

• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 61
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 60
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 59
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 58
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 57
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 56
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 55
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 54
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 53
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 52
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 51
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 50