It’s been quite a while since the last Things Teenagers Say. My students have been getting antsy for me to post a new one, so here it is!
Why does my infinity symbol look like a pizza?
Me: Sorry, I’m a germophobe.
Student: Hey! Germs have feelings, too!
Student: Are you a germophobe? You’re always using hand sanitizer.
Me: I don’t know who has touched that before, and I don’t want to get sick. Just think, the person sitting in your desk last hour could have had a cold.
Student: I think you just turned me into a germophobe!
Starting over in relationships is awkward.
Student 1: I didn’t know you worked at [a steakhouse]. Does that mean you could cook me a mean sirloin?
Student 2: Uh…
Student 1: That was a test. I like my sirloin nice.
Student 1: I really want to know if I’m still going to be listening to Drake when I’m 80.
Student 2: You won’t be able to hear when you’re 80.
Is -1 times -1 kind of an awkward positive?
Student 1: We need to have a jam session.
Student 2: [Explaining] It’s where you make jelly in groups.
I don’t have tighty whities. I have Fruit of the Loom Boxer Briefs!
The woman takes the man’s name. It’s in the Geneva Convention.
It’s satisfying how thick our notebooks are!
You can love someone and cheat on them. A lot of people think you can’t, but you can.
Student 1: For a rich guy, he sure had a bad haircut! [Pointing to a poster of Einstein]
Me: Was he rich?
Student 1: He did invent the light. He had to be rich.
Me: Einstein didn’t invent the light bulb. Class, who invented the light bulb?
Student 2: Benjamin Franklin?
Student 3: Thomas Jefferson?
Student 4: President Eisenhower?
Me: Definitely not.
Student 5: I think his name was Thomas.
Student 5: Thomas Edison!
Me: Yes! Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.
I’d eat my baby if I was starving.
Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say
- Things Teenagers Say: Volume 61
- Things Teenagers Say: Volume 60
- Things Teenagers Say: Volume 59
- Things Teenagers Say: Volume 58
- Things Teenagers Say: Volume 57
- Things Teenagers Say: Volume 56
- Things Teenagers Say: Volume 55
- Things Teenagers Say: Volume 54
- Things Teenagers Say: Volume 53
- Things Teenagers Say: Volume 52
- Things Teenagers Say: Volume 51
- Things Teenagers Say: Volume 50