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Calculus Jokes and Puns

These calculus jokes and puns were hand-picked by a high school math teacher to make your students laugh (or groan!) 

You can find lots of collections of funny math jokes and math puns online, but this one is special. This collection of calculus jokes was put together by a high school math teacher. These jokes are clean and suitable for the high school calculus class.

Teach other math subjects? You might also be interested in checking out my collections of algebra jokesgeometry jokes, and trig jokes. I also have a giant collection of the 139 best math jokes which features arithmetic jokes, calculus jokes, and even an occasional statistics joke. Or you might want to download my math joke of the week posters which can be hung up inside or outside your classroom. 

These calculus jokes and puns have been generally sorted by the calculus concepts which they cover (differentiation, integration, etc).  

General Calculus Jokes

  • What do you call a wizard who is good at calculus? A mathemagician
  • Why is a calculus book always unhappy? Because it always has lots of problems.
  • What did one calculus book say to the other? Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!
  • What state has the most calculus teachers? Math-achusetts
  • Did you hear that old calculus teachers never die? They just lose some of their functions.
  • Why don’t dentists like math? They don’t like calculus.
  • Why did the chicken study calculus? To determine the rate at which it crossed the road.

Limit Jokes

  • Why was the parent function upset with its child? It was stretched to its limit.

Derivative Jokes

  • What do you call a recycled calculus pun? Derivative humor.
  • What is the first derivative of a cow? Prime Rib!
  • What’s the derivative of Amazon with respect to cost of shipping? Amazon Prime!
  • What is a frog’s favorite part of calculus? Der-ribbit-tives
  • What did the student say about the calculus equation she couldn’t solve? “This is derive-ing me crazy!”
  • Why don’t math majors throw house parties? Because it’s dangerous to drink and derive.