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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 59

Tomorrow is the last day of school. I have only one more day of semester tests between me and summer break. Let’s celebrate the ending of the weirdest ever year of my teaching career with a new volume of Things Teenagers Say. This is my regular round-up of the crazy and memorable things I hear my students say in class. 

Things Teenagers Say

Things Teenagers Say

Student 1: Where’s Stonehenge?
Student 2: Stone Heads? What are Stone Heads?

It’s not a mullet. It’s a mop, okay?

Student 1: We had a cow that we thought was going to die. My dad and I made a bet.
Student 2: Did you win?
Student 1: No. I lost ten dollars.

I still have a bedtime. That’s the kind of parents I have.

What? The IT guys can’t make the internet work, but they can block every website that exists.

I’m not the favorite, and I’m an only child.

Math equals love? Math equals the death of babies.

Student 1: Bill Gates got divorced.
Student 2 :Bill Gates is still alive?!?

Student 1: So you are telling me I’m like a dream?
Student 2: Yes. Like a weird dream.

I would be such a good lifeguard IF I knew how to swim.

If you had a banjo and threw it off a cliff before playing it, it would sound like this.

If I’m not leaving the house, I want McDonald’s. If I’m leaving the house, I want Chik-fil-a.

I want to go to a marriage counselor with someone I don’t even know and talk about all our problems.

There are two types of couple lock screens – the really cute ones and the really dumb ones.

Student 1: You watch dog walking videos? Why don’t you just go walk your dogs?
Student 2: My dogs aren’t real dogs. They sit around all day. They don’t like to watch.

I’m bad at tic tac toe. I practice at work when I get bored.

Do you know what I like to do? Walk up behind other people and blow my nose.

We need to try and play every single sport our senior year.

Student 1: You don’t even have an icepack in there. How do you keep your lunch cold?
Student 2: Well, it doesn’t get hot. Icepacks are overrated.

Work at your own pace. Does that mean procrastinate as long as possible?

Want to read more things teenagers say? Check out previous volumes here

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say