Things Teenagers Say: Volume 59

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2 Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say

Tomorrow is the last day of school. I have only one more day of semester tests between me and summer break. Let’s celebrate the ending of the weirdest ever year of my teaching career with a new volume of Things Teenagers Say. This is my regular round-up of the crazy and memorable things I hear my students say in class.

Things Teenagers Say

Student 1: Where’s Stonehenge?
Student 2: Stone Heads? What are Stone Heads?

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It’s not a mullet. It’s a mop, okay?

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Student 1: We had a cow that we thought was going to die. My dad and I made a bet.
Student 2: Did you win?
Student 1: No. I lost ten dollars.

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I still have a bedtime. That’s the kind of parents I have.

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What? The IT guys can’t make the internet work, but they can block every website that exists.

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I’m not the favorite, and I’m an only child.

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Math equals love? Math equals the death of babies.

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Student 1: Bill Gates got divorced.
Student 2 :Bill Gates is still alive?!?

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Student 1: So you are telling me I’m like a dream?
Student 2: Yes. Like a weird dream.

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I would be such a good lifeguard IF I knew how to swim.

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If you had a banjo and threw it off a cliff before playing it, it would sound like this.

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If I’m not leaving the house, I want McDonald’s. If I’m leaving the house, I want Chik-fil-a.

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I want to go to a marriage counselor with someone I don’t even know and talk about all our problems.

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There are two types of couple lock screens – the really cute ones and the really dumb ones.

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Student 1: You watch dog walking videos? Why don’t you just go walk your dogs?
Student 2: My dogs aren’t real dogs. They sit around all day. They don’t like to watch.

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I’m bad at tic tac toe. I practice at work when I get bored.

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Do you know what I like to do? Walk up behind other people and blow my nose.

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We need to try and play every single sport our senior year.

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Student 1: You don’t even have an icepack in there. How do you keep your lunch cold?
Student 2: Well, it doesn’t get hot. Icepacks are overrated.

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Work at your own pace. Does that mean procrastinate as long as possible?

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Want to read more things teenagers say? Check out previous volumes here.