Things Teenagers Say: Volume 28

Happy Friday! We had our first two snow days of the year this week which made it a short but super crazy week. There’s just something about having a four-day weekend that makes kids a bit antsy in the classroom. Though, I guess it did allow me to miss the post-Valentine sugar rush. 😉 Here’s the latest installment of crazy things teenagers say.

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Ms. Hagan doesn’t eat chicken strips. She’s not going to bite you.

[Said by a student to their younger sibling to convince them it was safe to enter my classroom.]

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You bring the ranch. I’ll bring the fried crickets.

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Ms. Hagan couldn’t go to China. She’d have to eat cats.

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Do ovaries make you run faster?

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I’m going to “common sense” you.

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Me: You are going to pretend to be a function for us. Your function is to square whatever input you are given. Do you understand?
Student 1: Yes.
Me: So, if I say 10, what do you say?
Student 1: 100
Student 2: And, if I say 49, what do you say?
Student 1: Get a calculator.

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I have to get all A’s this semester so I can get a goat.

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Math doesn’t make me nervous. It makes me want to stab my eyes out.

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Me: Take off your hat. You know the rule.
Student: But, I have to wear my hat. My hair is……..green.

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Student 1: Are you going to leave us?
Me: I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon.
Student 2: But, if Ms. Hagan left, we might get a more interesting math teacher.
Student 3: I don’t think it’s possible to have a more interesting teacher.

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Student: Do you like sour skittles?
Me: No. I don’t like skittles.
Student: Ms. Hagan doesn’t like Skittles. Guys, I think we should jump her.

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People who play bowling are old.

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I bruise easily. I’m like a banana.

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Don’t serenade me every Friday. I don’t like being serenaded.

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Does anyone else have a balloon I can suck the helium out of?

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Happy Valentines Day, you freaking relationship person.