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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 28

Happy Friday!  We had our first two snow days of the year this week which made it a short but super crazy week.  There’s just something about having a four-day weekend that makes kids a bit antsy in the classroom.  Though, I guess it did allow me to miss the post-Valentine sugar rush. 😉  Here’s the latest installment of crazy things teenagers say.

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Ms. Hagan doesn’t eat chicken strips. She’s not going to bite you.  

[Said by a student to their younger sibling to convince them it was safe to enter my classroom.]

You bring the ranch. I’ll bring the fried crickets.

Ms. Hagan couldn’t go to China. She’d have to eat cats.

Do ovaries make you run faster?

I’m going to “common sense” you.

Me: You are going to pretend to be a function for us.  Your function is to square whatever input you are given.  Do you understand?
Student 1: Yes.
Me: So, if I say 10, what do you say?
Student 1: 100
Student 2: And, if I say 49, what do you say?
Student 1: Get a calculator.

I have to get all A’s this semester so I can get a goat.

Math doesn’t make me nervous. It makes me want to stab my eyes out.

Me: Take off your hat.  You know the rule.
Student: But, I have to wear my hat. My hair is……

Student 1: Are you going to leave us?
Me: I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon.
Student 2: But, if Ms. Hagan left, we might get a more interesting math teacher.
Student 3: I don’t think it’s possible to have a more interesting teacher.

Student: Do you like sour skittles?
Me: No. I don’t like skittles.
Student: Ms. Hagan doesn’t like Skittles.  Guys, I think we should jump her.

People who play bowling are old.

I bruise easily. I’m like a banana.

Don’t serenade me every Friday. I don’t like being serenaded.

Does anyone else have a balloon I can suck the helium out of?

Happy Valentines Day, you freaking relationship person.

I’m going to grow up to be an underground bear fighter.

Student 1: Ms. Hagan, have you ever shot a gun.
Me: No.
Student 2: If she doesn’t eat meat, why does she need to shoot a gun?

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