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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 53

Join me today for Volume 53 of Things Teenagers Say. This is my regular round-up of the crazy and memorable things I hear my students say in class. Well, we finally got a snow/ice day here in Oklahoma! To celebrate this unexpected day off, I’m sharing a new volume of Things Teenagers Say.

things teenagers say

Things Teenagers Say

You don’t drink pop?!? You’re not American!

On Tie Dye Day for Spirit Week…
Someone should have worn a tie that said DYE on it!

Do you think when you’re pregnant, it’s heavy?

Valentine’s Day is for people who are dating.

What if someone named their children Mr. and Mrs?

It smells like an herb in here.

Student 1: Can I have a bite?
Student 2: Well, your ex-boyfriend already took a bite, so why not?
Student 1: Which one?

I don’t know how to hula hoop, guys.

I’ve always felt kinda put-off by the rabbit.

Student: I forgot to get this signed.
Me: That’s okay. Get it signed this weekend and bring it back on Monday.
Student: Unless I can forge his signature.
Me: Please don’t.
Student: Oh, I can’t forge his signature. He writes like those old George Washington type people with the fancy handwriting.

It’s okay. We all have shirts that are too big for us. Big shirts are comfy shirts.

My brother tried to do a British accent, and it sounded like an Australian duck dying.

When I have twins, I’m going to name them “Greater Than” and “Less Than.” The one that weighs the most will be “Greater Than,” and the one that weighs the least will be “Less Than.”

You’ve got to help me, help you, kill her.

After answering a call in class that turned out to be a robocall…
Next time someone calls you randomly, just ask “Do you have the drugs?” They’ll hang up right away.

While playing Absolute Zero… 
Student 1: You’re such a cheater!
Student 2: No, I’m just sneaky.

Why do your glue sticks look like they came from a hospital?

There’s a potato chip in my notebook!

Mrs. Carter, you look like you went to a funeral today.

Mrs. Carter is not in a bad mood, she’s just being sassy.

Student: What does M T B O S stand for?
Me: Math Twitter Blog-o-Sphere
Student: Good job! (Said while reading my twitter feed…)

Student 1: What’s the vertex? I’m aching in anticipation to find out the vertex!
Student 2: Vertex? I thought it was pronounced vortex!

Can we host a memorial for Slope Dude?

It’s not stealing. It’s borrowing forever without asking. I have excuses for every situation.

When I have twins, I’m going to name them “Greater Than” and “Less Than.” The one that weighs the most will be “Greater Than,” and the one that weighs the least will be “Less Than.”

If I had a British accent, I would never shut up.

OKC Thunder Teacher of the Game Award

Student: How’d you get this? (my OKC Thunder Teacher of the Game Plaque)
Me: I went to the game.
Student: Did you get free tickets?
Me: Yes.
Student: Did you get to touch Russell Westbrook’s butt?
Me: No.

Student: So, what are you and Mr. Carter going to do for your anniversary?
Me: Stay at school late for parent teacher conferences.
Student: Afterwards, they are going to go home and eat carrots.

You’re a bad word, so shut up!

So the box that says “test space” isn’t for testing your marker? Because that’s what I used it for.

Everyone loses their train of thought when they see me!

You have a lot of math posters on the wall!

What do teachers do when they are not at school?

Student 1: He really wants to see a mushroom cloud.
Student 2: All you have to do is burn a mushroom. Then, you’ll see a cloud.

My graph is sophisticated and color-coded.

I’m going to start a twitter account called math equals hate and tweet about Mrs. Carter.

Can I borrow a tippy tappy thing?

Your husband is such a doll.

Want to read more things teenagers say? Check out previous volumes here.

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say