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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 30

Today’s Monday which in my classroom means a time to share “Good Things.”  It’s getting to that point in the school year where I’m looking forward to summer vacation.  Spring Break seems like a distant memory.  It’s easy at this point in the year to lose my focus and think only about those important tests we have coming up.  But, I didn’t go into education for the testing.  I went into education for the students.  And, today, they are my good thing.  If it wasn’t for my students who inspire me daily, push me to be a better teacher, and have a penchant for saying crazy things that make me (and the rest of the Internet) laugh, I couldn’t do the job I love.

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I didn’t say I was going to kill you.  I just mentioned that something might happen to you.

Ms. Hagan, you’re grounded!  You’re not allowed to be a math teacher anymore.  I think that’s the only thing you would ever get mad about missing.

If I ever have children, I’m not going to expose them to math until the oldest age possible.

He sounds like a dying walrus when he laughs.

Will you kick [Student 1] out of class if I give you [Student 2]’s leg?

Ms. Hagan doesn’t need another leg!

Do you need a tissue for your issue?

I wonder how many cows it takes to make one burger…

It can go at most 1.  Does that mean it can go 2?

Student 1: Ms. Hagan, your outfit is on point today!
Me: Thanks!  I’m super excited about this dress because it has pockets.
Student 2: You could use your pockets to shoplift stuff.  No one would ever notice!
Me: Do you really think I would be the type of person to shoplift?!?
Student 2: I can totally see you shoplifting calculators.

Student 1: Math is like a graveyard.
Student 2: No, math is like a relationship.  It’s full of problems that can’t be solved.

Student 1: What are you doing?
Student 2: Writing letters to donationers.

Student: Does your boyfriend call you Ms. Hagan or Sarah?
Me: What do you think?
Student: Oh, I guess that would be kind of weird for him to call you Ms. Hagan.

Student 1: Do you know what rhymes with Friday?
Me: No.
Student 2: Pi Day?
Student 1: No. Vodka.

Student 1: It’s hot in here.
Me: I’m not hot.
Student 2: Yes you are.  You’re welcome.

(While playing taboo…)

Student 1: You get this when you’re a girl.  It has to do with your breasts.
Student 2: A bra?
Student 1: No.  They smash them in a machine.
Student 3: Mammogram.
Student 1: Oh.  I thought that was called a monogram.  Oops…

Ms. Hagan, he’s cropping his ex-girlfriend out of the picture by turning her into a tree!

Walking through the hallways is like walking through “Days of our Lives.”

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say


Sunday 5th of April 2015

Thanks for the post. It helped me a lot. Here's what I've read recently. Also made me think of this problem. Will be following your blog for more useful and interesting updates.

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