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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 30

Today’s Monday which in my classroom means a time to share “Good Things.”  It’s getting to that point in the school year where I’m looking forward to summer vacation.  Spring Break seems like a distant memory.  It’s easy at this point in the year to lose my focus and think only about those important tests we have coming up.  But, I didn’t go into education for the testing.  I went into education for the students.  And, today, they are my good thing.  If it wasn’t for my students who inspire me daily, push me to be a better teacher, and have a penchant for saying crazy things that make me (and the rest of the Internet) laugh, I couldn’t do the job I love.

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I didn’t say I was going to kill you.  I just mentioned that something might happen to you.

Ms. Hagan, you’re grounded!  You’re not allowed to be a math teacher anymore.  I think that’s the only thing you would ever get mad about missing.

If I ever have children, I’m not going to expose them to math until the oldest age possible.

He sounds like a dying walrus when he laughs.

Will you kick [Student 1] out of class if I give you [Student 2]’s leg?

Ms. Hagan doesn’t need another leg!

Do you need a tissue for your issue?

I wonder how many cows it takes to make one burger…

It can go at most 1.  Does that mean it can go 2?

Student 1: Ms. Hagan, your outfit is on point today!
Me: Thanks!  I’m super excited about this dress because it has pockets.
Student 2: You could use your pockets to shoplift stuff.  No one would ever notice!
Me: Do you really think I would be the type of person to shoplift?!?
Student 2: I can totally see you shoplifting calculators.

Student 1: Math is like a graveyard.
Student 2: No, math is like a relationship.  It’s full of problems that can’t be solved.

Student 1: What are you doing?
Student 2: Writing letters to donationers.

Student: Does your boyfriend call you Ms. Hagan or Sarah?
Me: What do you think?
Student: Oh, I guess that would be kind of weird for him to call you Ms. Hagan.

Student 1: Do you know what rhymes with Friday?
Me: No.
Student 2: Pi Day?
Student 1: No. Vodka.

Student 1: It’s hot in here.
Me: I’m not hot.
Student 2: Yes you are.  You’re welcome.

(While playing taboo…)

Student 1: You get this when you’re a girl.  It has to do with your breasts.
Student 2: A bra?
Student 1: No.  They smash them in a machine.
Student 3: Mammogram.
Student 1: Oh.  I thought that was called a monogram.  Oops…

Ms. Hagan, he’s cropping his ex-girlfriend out of the picture by turning her into a tree!

Walking through the hallways is like walking through “Days of our Lives.”

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say

3motka

Sunday 5th of April 2015

Thanks for the post. It helped me a lot. Here's what I've read recently. Also made me think of this problem. Will be following your blog for more useful and interesting updates.

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