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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 56

Join me today for Volume 56 of Things Teenagers Say. This is my regular round-up of the crazy and memorable things I hear my students say in class. 

Things Teenagers Say

Today marks a new chapter in the history of Things Teenagers Say. It’s the first volume of many from my new school. It will be interesting to see how students at my new school take to this tradition. At my old school, Things Teenagers Say went from being virtually unnoticed by anyone to having almost a cult following by some of my students and coworkers in the course of a few years. It turns out that no matter where you work, teenagers still say some pretty crazy things sometimes.

Things Teenagers Say

Me: What do we call this type of graph?
Student 1: A uvula!
Student 2: I think that’s called a parabola.
Student 1: Oh. Yeah. That’s what it’s called.

Student 1: Why do you look like you’re about to go to a baseball game?
Student 2: It’s the hat.

Student 1: How tall are you?
Student 2: Tall enough.

I want you to have to use 30 pounds of shampoo next time you have to wash your hair.

He’s not a substitute. He’s a hero. A national treasure.

You don’t learn much information from a puddle of goo.

I can’t English today.

I like saying swear words in other languages.

Alligator and chicken are not the same thing.

I feel like I’m actually a decent person…sometimes.

Student 1: We speak American here.
Student 2: Aren’t you the president of the Spanish club?

Can the pope have a beard?

Student: Why should I trust you?
Me: I have a degree in math.
Student: I have degrees on my thermometer, but you don’t see me showing it off.

Your carrots taste like perfume.

Student 1: I need to get Jesus in my life.
Student 2: You just kicked Jesus out of your life.

How come is it whenever a girl breaks up with me they always cry?

Either my dad is a witch or a pyromaniac.

Want to read more things teenagers say? Check out previous volumes here.

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say