Things Teenagers Say: Volume 32

She’s married to my ex-future-husband.

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Student: Ms. Hagan, do you get cream in your slushies at Sonic?
Me: I don’t get slushies at Sonic.
Student: You haven’t experienced life as life itself, then.

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My elbows sometimes look like elephant skin.

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Your hair looks like a cheerleader’s pom-pom.

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Student: Ms. Hagan, this textbook is almost as old as you are.
Me: What year is it from?
Student: The first issue date was 1998.
Me: You do realize what year I was born in, right?
Student: 1989?
Me: Yeah.  That’s quite a bit far away from 1998.

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I don’t know many old racist people.  But, then again, I don’t know that many old people.

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Male Student: What if you cut your cords?
Female Student: Do you mean tie your tubes?
Male Student: Oh…

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My baby’s going to listen to Alice Cooper!

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My eye feels like glass, and I can’t deal with it.

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Twitter is just for rich people.

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Student 1: Guys, I’ve been married 30 times.
Student 2: Did you know you can get married in each state?

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Student 1: There’s a lot of product in her hair.
Student 2: Are you sure there’s no quotient in her hair?

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You have selective hearing, Ms. Hagan.  I used to get spankings for selective hearing.

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I’m going to go home, eat some chocolate, and shave my legs at lunch.

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Did you get your tattoo done professionally or in some alley by a guy named Berta?

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say

• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 61
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 60
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 59
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 58
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 57
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 56
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 55
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 54
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 53
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 52
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 51
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 50