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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 32

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She’s married to my ex-future-husband.

Student: Ms. Hagan, do you get cream in your slushies at Sonic?
Me: I don’t get slushies at Sonic.
Student: You haven’t experienced life as life itself, then.

My elbows sometimes look like elephant skin.

Your hair looks like a cheerleader’s pom-pom.

Student: Ms. Hagan, this textbook is almost as old as you are.
Me: What year is it from?
Student: The first issue date was 1998.
Me: You do realize what year I was born in, right?
Student: 1989?
Me: Yeah.  That’s quite a bit far away from 1998.

I don’t know many old racist people.  But, then again, I don’t know that many old people.

Male Student: What if you cut your cords?
Female Student: Do you mean tie your tubes?
Male Student: Oh…

My baby’s going to listen to Alice Cooper!

My eye feels like glass, and I can’t deal with it.

Twitter is just for rich people.

Student 1: Guys, I’ve been married 30 times.
Student 2: Did you know you can get married in each state?

Student 1: There’s a lot of product in her hair.
Student 2: Are you sure there’s no quotient in her hair?

You have selective hearing, Ms. Hagan.  I used to get spankings for selective hearing.

I’m going to go home, eat some chocolate, and shave my legs at lunch.

Did you get your tattoo done professionally or in some alley by a guy named Berta?

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say


Tuesday 21st of April 2015

These were pretty funny! Kids are weird sometimes. I remember being weird. /sigh


Monday 20th of April 2015

Please stop posting the inappropriate things that your students say, and go back to posting the really *funny* things that they say--that have to do with math. Thank you.