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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 16

My students continue to spout off the most random statements in class.  For your benefit and enjoyment, I record them here on a regular basis.

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Me: Class, does anybody have a good thing to share today?
Student: I caught a fish this weekend that didn’t have a dorsal fin.

Student 1: Ms. Hagan, what’s your good thing?
Me: Well, I got a letter in the mail saying I got accepted to grad school.
Student 2: You’re not leaving are you?
Me: No, I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon.
Student 2: The last teacher who said she wasn’t leaving us got knocked up and moved.
Student 3: I’m pretty sure it’s not called getting knocked up if you and your husband decide to have a baby.

You better bump up my grade or it’s about to get real in here.

Me: On the top of your folder, write last name comma first name.
Student: Isn’t it going to be confusing that everyone’s folder says the same thing?

This student literally wrote “Last Name, First Name” on his manila folder…

Guys!  Look at Ms. Hagan.  She looks like a serial killer right now.  It’s okay, though.

Student: I swallowed a fluffy thing and it got stuck in my throat and it got infected.  But, I went to the
doctor, and they gave me an inhaler.  So, I’m going to be okay.
Me: You swallowed a what?
Student: A fluffy thing.
Me: What’s a fluffy thing?
Student: Do you know what those little fluffy things are inside pillows?  I swallowed one of those.

My sister ran over a coyote with her car.  Did you know you can get $50 if you kill a coyote?

A few months ago, my grandmother’s aunt died.  And, they cremated her. Well, this weekend we had a ceremony for her.  I thought that was weird because ceremonies are only supposed to be for weddings.  But, they put her ashes in a jar, and we buried the ashes.

I have two cats.  One cat is an obese cat.  The other cat is a skinny cat.  And, the obese cat is scared of the skinny cat.

I can’t do my homework at home.  My cat is obsessed with me.

Ms. Hagan, are you EVER going to be absent?

Ms. Hagan, I know how you could meet a guy.  You could go to Stillwater to OSU where the
grad students are.  Then, you should stand outside the building looking really lost.  When somebody asks what you are looking for, you can say “I’m looking for you.”

Me: What did Thomas Edison invent?
<Blank Stares>
Me: Come on, guys.  What did Thomas Edison invent?
Student 1: Oh, isn’t he the guy that who discovered electricity?
Student 2: No, that was Ben Franklin.
Student 3: I thought Albert Einstein invented electricity.
Student 4: Just because Albert Einstein looks like he got electrocuted, it doesn’t mean he invented electricity.
Student 2: Albert Einstein is the one who invented math.

In another class the same day:
Student 1: Albert Einstein is the guy who invented math.
Student 2: I bet he has a lot of haters, then.
Me: Albert Einstein didn’t invent math.
Student 1: Then, what did he do?
Student 3: Albert Einstein worked on the atomic bomb.
Student 1: Oh.  We’ve never had a nuclear bomb before, though.  Isn’t it true
that if there was a nuclear bomb, it would start World War III?
Student 3: Have you ever heard of Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
Student 1: Yes.  But, those were just regular bombs.  If they were nuclear bombs, I would know it.
Student 3: They were called atomic bombs for a reason.
Student 1: Yeah, ATOMIC bombs.  Not nuclear bombs.  We’ve never had a nuclear bomb before.

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say


Friday 26th of September 2014

I just found these today on your blog, and spent my entire lunch reading it. Then today, I did the independent and dependent variable card sort from your blog and had a student match "the number of students attending the dance" and "the number of hotel rooms they need to reserve." I showed my co-teacher and we shared a laugh for sure! Thank you for your amazing blog, I use it frequently for my Algebra 1 remedial course for students who have struggled with the material before.

Sarah Carter (@mathequalslove)

Saturday 27th of September 2014

Glad my students and their antics could entertain you during lunch! That statement by your students sounds like something that one of my kids would say! I guess teenagers are the same in every school! :)

Thanks for reading my blog. It means so much to me. Let me know if there is ever anything I can help you with!


Wednesday 24th of September 2014

in regards to last name, first name... one time my dad bought a plane ticket for me but i never got the info. so he called united and the girl read back the email to him. instead of mccormick_.... it was in the computer as mccormickunderscore.... SMH