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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 21

Because my students have been complaining that I haven’t posted any new things teenagers say lately…  And, I don’t want them to be sad every time they go to my blog and find no new posts.For the rest of you, I promise that one of these days I’ll find time to post some actual math teacher-y content.  Let’s just say life and grad school have been keeping me busy, busy.  🙂

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Ms. Hagan, did you go to squiggly bracket school?  Because you draw them so well.

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Student: Why are you eating deer food?
Me: What are you talking about?
Student: That – it’s deer food.
Me:  Those are pretzels.  I’m pretty sure those are people food.

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Student: Why is the time on your clock wrong?
Me: I don’t know.
Student: Maybe a murderer came in here and changed it.

I’m sure that’s the explanation…

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I went over and talked to him like civilized civilians.

Student: Do you hear that ringing sound?
Me: That’s the telephone in the teacher’s lounge.  It’s directly on the other side of the wall from where you’re sitting.
Student: Do you ever go and answer the phone in the teacher’s lounge?
Me: No.
Student: Why not?  It could be ISIS calling.

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Me: I killed a mouse in my house this weekend.
Student: You mean your cat killed a mouse this weekend.
Me: Guys, how many times do I have to tell you?  I don’t have a cat.
Student:  That’s right.  You have cats.  Plural.

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Does math ever just make you want to punch a baby in the face?

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If I pull out duct tape, don’t worry.  I’m not going to hurt anybody.

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If you’d give me the answers, I wouldn’t call you a “cat lady.”

Student: Ms. Hagan, you have a different voice when you’re talking on the phone.  It’s high-pitched and preppy.
Me: Okay…
Student: It’s okay.  I do the same thing when I’m ordering my food at Sonic.

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Ms. Hagan, if your twitter followers saw how dirty your classroom was, they would not approve.

#OUCH

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Student: I don’t understand how you can’t eat meat.  It’s the circle of life.  I mean, God gave us meat to eat.
Me: God also gave us vegetables to eat.
Student: If God wanted you to be a rabbit, he would have made you a rabbit.

Me: What did you do this weekend?
Student: I got stuck under my house for a couple of hours with a dead squirrel and a couple of snakes.

Me: I’m going to go refill my water bottle while you start this problem.
Student: Don’t drown in the water fountain.

Did you write equations on the candy you gave out for Halloween?

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They’re skipping class.  You need to get your bell and go all Pi Girl on them.

When my students won’t quit talking, I will often stand silently until everyone stops talking…  

Student: Ms. Hagan, I don’t like it when you give us the silent treatment.
Me: I don’t like it when you give me the non-silent treatment.

During Friday Funnies:   

Me: What do you have if you have 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 4 apples and 3 oranges in the other hand? Student: Well, you definitely don’t have scurvy.

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Did you stick the poster to the door with bubble gum? 

Ewwww! That would be sticky tack…

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I bet you scared a lot of kids on Halloween.  You probably made them answer math questions to get candy.  Or, you really scared them by giving out math worksheets.

Hey, do you know how to cut someone else’s finger off?

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Hey guys, have you ever wondered what Ms. Hagan’s children would look like if she had an affair with the principal?

That would be a NO.  

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I found a random bobby pin on the floor, so I’m going to turn it into a shank.

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say

Anonymous

Wednesday 26th of November 2014

Now I'm getting sad because there haven't been new posts recently! I hope over Thanksgiving I'll see new ones! Love, love, love your blog!

Sarah Carter (@mathequalslove)

Thursday 19th of February 2015

Sorry I haven't been blogging as much. My priorities have been changing lately. ;)

Anonymous

Friday 21st of November 2014

Here's one to add... Today I was writing on the board, and the student who sits in the back corner seat whispered something to the girl next to him. While I kept writing, I responded to what he said. One of the girls said, "Mrs. C. You have eagle ears." LOL!

Sarah Carter (@mathequalslove)

Friday 21st of November 2014

LOL. That's hilarious!

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