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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 7

Join me today for Volume 7 of Things Teenagers Say. This is my regular round-up of the crazy and memorable things I hear my students say in class. 

things teenagers say

Things Teenagers Say

Over Christmas Break, I let the hair stylist talk me into highlights.  This was the first time I’d ever done anything like that to my hair.  The change was pretty drastic, but I love it!  On the first day back from break, it seemed like every single student had something to say about my hair.

If I was bald, I would be jealous of your hair.

Freshman Boy (to me): You got streaks in your hair!
Freshman Girl: They’re called highlights.
Freshman Boy:  I may not know what they are called, but at least I noticed them.
Another Freshman Boy: I noticed them too, but I wasn’t going to say anything about them.

Student 1: I got my hair cut over break, too.
Student 2: It’s not your time to shine.  It’s Ms. Hagan’s time to shine.
Student 1: It’s ALWAYS Ms. Hagan’s time to shine!

Me: It’s crunch time.
Student 1: What?
Me: It’s crunch time.
Student 1: Don’t you mean it’s cram time?  I’ve never heard of crunch time.  I think it’s called cram time.
Me: No, its crunch time.
Student 2: That sounds like a brand of cereal.  Are you hungry, Ms. Hagan?
Student 3: No, wait.  Isn’t that a candy bar?  Are you sure you aren’t hungry?
Me: You’ve seriously never heard of crunch time?!?  Crunch time means we’re running out of time, and we need to get serious.

Student: What do you call people that don’t celebrate Christmas?
Me: Atheists???
Student: No, Ms. Hagan!!!  Atheists don’t believe in God.  I mean people that don’t celebrate Christmas!
Me: Well, I don’t know then.
Student: You know, like [a certain teacher.]
Me: Oh, you mean Jehovah Witnesses.
Student: Yeah, that’s it.  I don’t like Christmas anymore.  I’m going to become a Jehovah Witness.  Wait… Are you allowed to be a Jehovah Witness if you weren’t in the Holocaust?
The ENTIRE rest of the class: Jehovah Witnesses weren’t in the Holocaust!  That was the Jews.  Didn’t you pay attention any in class?!?!

Apparently, not all of my students enjoyed our last Algebra 2 unit on logarithms.
I wish we had beavers that could eat all our logs.

I’m just going to take one bite of this.  I want to see what it tastes like.

What was this student wanting to taste?  A piece of pizza that had been sitting in their locker since lunch the previous day.  Ewww…

While solving a multiple choice bellwork question:

Student: Did you meet a guy whose name starts with a D?
Me: No… Why?
Student: Well, D has been the answer to our bellwork problems a lot lately.  I thought you might have been picking it because you met a guy whose name starts with D.
Me: No…
Student: Oh, is your boyfriend 63, then?  (The answer to D was 63)

We don’t want to make Ms. Hagan puke.  She’s an awesome teacher.

One of my students shared this as his good thing on a Monday:

Student: I got a side by side this weekend.
Me: You sound really excited about a refrigerator.
Student: It’s not a refrigerator.
Me: Oh…

I also had to make a new rule that I never envisioned myself making.

Me: No lassoing things!

Want to read more things teenagers say? Check out previous volumes here

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say


Monday 19th of November 2018



Monday 27th of January 2014

It's a type of OHV. Like a John Deere Gator or a Kowasaki Mule. They are great for farm and ranch work

Sarah Carter (@mathequalslove)

Monday 27th of January 2014

Good to know! I think this student lives on a farm, so that makes sense!

Nancy in Indiana

Sunday 26th of January 2014

Ok, I'm clueless. What is a side by side?

Sarah Carter (@mathequalslove)

Sunday 26th of January 2014

Glad I'm not the only one! Apparently, it's a type of four-wheeler or ATV. I'm not really sure. I just know that he was NOT referring to a fridge!