Join me today for Volume 7 of Things Teenagers Say. This is my regular round-up of the crazy and memorable things I hear my students say in class.
Things Teenagers Say
Over Christmas Break, I let the hair stylist talk me into highlights. This was the first time I’d ever done anything like that to my hair. The change was pretty drastic, but I love it! On the first day back from break, it seemed like every single student had something to say about my hair.
If I was bald, I would be jealous of your hair.
Freshman Boy (to me): You got streaks in your hair!
Freshman Girl: They’re called highlights.
Freshman Boy: I may not know what they are called, but at least I noticed them.
Another Freshman Boy: I noticed them too, but I wasn’t going to say anything about them.
Student 1: I got my hair cut over break, too.
Student 2: It’s not your time to shine. It’s Ms. Hagan’s time to shine.
Student 1: It’s ALWAYS Ms. Hagan’s time to shine!
Me: It’s crunch time.
Student 1: What?
Me: It’s crunch time.
Student 1: Don’t you mean it’s cram time? I’ve never heard of crunch time. I think it’s called cram time.
Me: No, its crunch time.
Student 2: That sounds like a brand of cereal. Are you hungry, Ms. Hagan?
Student 3: No, wait. Isn’t that a candy bar? Are you sure you aren’t hungry?
Me: You’ve seriously never heard of crunch time?!? Crunch time means we’re running out of time, and we need to get serious.
Student: What do you call people that don’t celebrate Christmas?
Student: No, Ms. Hagan!!! Atheists don’t believe in God. I mean people that don’t celebrate Christmas!
Me: Well, I don’t know then.
Student: You know, like [a certain teacher.]
Me: Oh, you mean Jehovah Witnesses.
Student: Yeah, that’s it. I don’t like Christmas anymore. I’m going to become a Jehovah Witness. Wait… Are you allowed to be a Jehovah Witness if you weren’t in the Holocaust?
The ENTIRE rest of the class: Jehovah Witnesses weren’t in the Holocaust! That was the Jews. Didn’t you pay attention any in class?!?!
Apparently, not all of my students enjoyed our last Algebra 2 unit on logarithms.
I wish we had beavers that could eat all our logs.
I’m just going to take one bite of this. I want to see what it tastes like.
What was this student wanting to taste? A piece of pizza that had been sitting in their locker since lunch the previous day. Ewww…
While solving a multiple choice bellwork question:
Student: Did you meet a guy whose name starts with a D?
Me: No… Why?
Student: Well, D has been the answer to our bellwork problems a lot lately. I thought you might have been picking it because you met a guy whose name starts with D.
Student: Oh, is your boyfriend 63, then? (The answer to D was 63)
We don’t want to make Ms. Hagan puke. She’s an awesome teacher.
One of my students shared this as his good thing on a Monday:
Student: I got a side by side this weekend.
Me: You sound really excited about a refrigerator.
Student: It’s not a refrigerator.
I also had to make a new rule that I never envisioned myself making.
Me: No lassoing things!
Want to read more things teenagers say? Check out previous volumes here.