Things Teenagers Say: Volume 7

Join me today for Volume 7 of Things Teenagers Say. This is my regular round-up of the crazy and memorable things I hear my students say in class. 

Things Teenagers Say

Over Christmas Break, I let the hair stylist talk me into highlights.  This was the first time I’d ever done anything like that to my hair.  The change was pretty drastic, but I love it!  On the first day back from break, it seemed like every single student had something to say about my hair.

If I was bald, I would be jealous of your hair.

—

Freshman Boy (to me): You got streaks in your hair!
Freshman Girl: They’re called highlights.
Freshman Boy:  I may not know what they are called, but at least I noticed them.
Another Freshman Boy: I noticed them too, but I wasn’t going to say anything about them.

—

Student 1: I got my hair cut over break, too.
Student 2: It’s not your time to shine.  It’s Ms. Hagan’s time to shine.
Student 1: It’s ALWAYS Ms. Hagan’s time to shine!

—

Me: It’s crunch time.
Student 1: What?
Me: It’s crunch time.
Student 1: Don’t you mean it’s cram time?  I’ve never heard of crunch time.  I think it’s called cram time.
Me: No, its crunch time.
Student 2: That sounds like a brand of cereal.  Are you hungry, Ms. Hagan?
Student 3: No, wait.  Isn’t that a candy bar?  Are you sure you aren’t hungry?
Me: You’ve seriously never heard of crunch time?!?  Crunch time means we’re running out of time, and we need to get serious.

—

Student: What do you call people that don’t celebrate Christmas?
Me: Atheists???
Student: No, Ms. Hagan!!!  Atheists don’t believe in God.  I mean people that don’t celebrate Christmas!
Me: Well, I don’t know then.
Student: You know, like [a certain teacher.]
Me: Oh, you mean Jehovah Witnesses.
Student: Yeah, that’s it.  I don’t like Christmas anymore.  I’m going to become a Jehovah Witness.  Wait… Are you allowed to be a Jehovah Witness if you weren’t in the Holocaust?
The ENTIRE rest of the class: Jehovah Witnesses weren’t in the Holocaust!  That was the Jews.  Didn’t you pay attention any in class?!?!

—

Apparently, not all of my students enjoyed our last Algebra 2 unit on logarithms.
I wish we had beavers that could eat all our logs.

—

I’m just going to take one bite of this.  I want to see what it tastes like.

What was this student wanting to taste?  A piece of pizza that had been sitting in their locker since lunch the previous day.  Ewww…

—

While solving a multiple choice bellwork question:

Student: Did you meet a guy whose name starts with a D?
Me: No… Why?
Student: Well, D has been the answer to our bellwork problems a lot lately.  I thought you might have been picking it because you met a guy whose name starts with D.
Me: No…
Student: Oh, is your boyfriend 63, then?  (The answer to D was 63)

—

We don’t want to make Ms. Hagan puke.  She’s an awesome teacher.

—

One of my students shared this as his good thing on a Monday:

Student: I got a side by side this weekend.
Me: You sound really excited about a refrigerator.
Student: It’s not a refrigerator.
Me: Oh…

—

I also had to make a new rule that I never envisioned myself making.

Me: No lassoing things!

—

Want to read more things teenagers say? Check out previous volumes here. 

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say

• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 61
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 60
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 59
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 58
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 57
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 56
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 55
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 54
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 53
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 52
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 51
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 50