Things Teenagers Say: Volume 43

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It feels like it’s been FOREVER since my last things teenagers say. So, I guess we should remedy that. Hope you’re having a happy Thursday!

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Student 1: Will I get my phone back at the end of the hour?
Student 2: She’s eating a banana, so obviously not.

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Did you know that in an alternate universe that might actually make sense?

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Mrs. Carter, you may think someone took my notes for me, but my handwriting is just on point today.

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Student: Are your husband’s legs still dark from the summer?
Me: Ummm…I’m just going to walk away now and pretend you didn’t just ask that.

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Don’t ever bite into soap!

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Dude! She’s never brushed her teeth with deodorant before!

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I write my 2’s like an adult now.

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I want to skip school in my closet.

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You have a mom, too?!?

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Why does spaghetti smell like puke when you go to wash the pan out?

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I love sneezing.

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I locked him in my trunk one time.

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I don’t smell like cigarettes. I smell like laundry detergent.

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Guys, I almost didn’t wear a hat this morning. I woke up and looked in the mirror. My hair looked like a rooster. It looked like a good rooster!

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Student 1: You don’t like peanut rolls?!?
Student 2: No, I said I don’t like funerals!

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You know what’s fun? Not being single.

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Do you remember how you didn’t like the word “gizzards” in the fourth grade?

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Student 1: Can we listen to the Hamilton soundtrack?
Student 2: We’re reading Hamilton in English class!
Student 1: Really?
Student 3: No, we’re reading HAMLET.

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I have a box of playing cards in my room to use for stats experiments and various activities.

Do you want to play 120,000 card pick up?

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Did you know that if you add five years to your age it will tell you how old you will be in five years?

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Student 1: My Christmas tree weighs over 300 pounds.
Student 2: There’s no way that your tree weighs as much as a semi truck.

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After sending a student to borrow graphing calculators from my husband’s classroom:

He really is Australian!

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When you wear fancy slacks that zip up the back instead of the front…

Are your pants on backwards?

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Jesus loves you. But, he doesn’t love you anymore because you kicked my friend out of lunch detention.

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They are bottle flipping, but my religion is against that. Can you please tell them to stop?

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Student: Is it possible for a Mexican student to fail Spanish class?
Me: I don’t know. We speak English. Do any of our students fail English class?

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You need to tell Mr. Carter to step up his game. His room is not as colorful as yours.

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They have Subway in Australia? I didn’t even think they had towns there.

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So if you’re blind and eat carrots, do you get your eyesight back?

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Me: Stop burping.
Student: What? This isn’t a free country?
Me: It’s not a free country when you’re in lunch detention.
Student: That’s not what the Bible says!

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Student 1: They are going to deport Trump.
Student 2: That could happen. He’s Swedish.
Student 1: He is pretty sweet.

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Student: My hand is cramping. I’m going to have arthritis because of you!
Me: That’s why we completed our notebook over the course of the entire semester. You’re trying to do it all in one day. Of course, your hand hurts!

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say