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Things Teenagers Say: Volume 44

It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long since I posted Volume 43 of Things Teenagers Say!  I guess that just means my students have been on a roll lately…

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You’re a math teacher.  You shouldn’t be talking about alliteration!

Did you know that mom spelled backwards is mom?

I know how to play this game.  I’m like a geek at Battleship!

I like your one earring.  I don’t care how you lost the other one, so don’t tell me the story.

You glittered all over my bag!

Student 1: She’s bullying me with money.
Me: What?!?
Student 2: I won’t give him a dollar

Guys!  Use your inside heads!

I’m so particular about my shoe laces.

Yesterday, you were dressed like a banana.  Today, you’re dressed like an unpeeled banana.

Student 1: My marker is going out.
Student 2: Hey, at least you finally got someone to go out with you.

Student 1: I have a hair in my sock.
Student 2: I have a foot in my sock.

Student 1: I HATE Chinese food.
Student 2: And, Chinese food HATES you!

I’m going to file a bullying report on you for not wearing socks.

My future plans are to marry a rich old man and die young in my 30’s.

Heroin is bad for your health.  Cocaine isn’t as bad for your health.

I have more chins than friends.

A student describing their dream: 

You were dead because you got into a polygamist husband fight.

Student 1: What happened to your sister?
Student 2: All I know is that she did SOMETHING to her knee, and they are going to have to do SOMETHING to her knee.

Student 1: What does your bracelet say?
Student 2: Ecuador.
Student 3: Isn’t Ecuador the place where they build floors?

Mr. Carter should wear a suit covered in Christmas lights to prom since he is the light of your life.

Student: I just noticed that lifeguard is misspelled in this problem.
Me: Oops.
Student: Yeah, it’s life G – U – A – R – D.
Me: That’s how you spell lifeguard.
Student: Is it?  My friend used to be a lifeguard, and he always told me it was spelled G – A – U – R – D.

Student: Would you ever date a communist?
Me: Given that I’m married, no I would not date a communist.
Student: What if Mr. Carter wasn’t in the picture?

Student 1: There’s a peculiar stain on the carpet in the back of your classroom.  I wish to know what happened.
Student 2: That’s where she killed…
Student 1: …George Clooney.  I know.
Student 3: George Clooney is dead?!?

Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say


Thursday 16th of February 2017

Thought you might like this... we were playing a Valentine's Day version of Taboo to get class started. I heard this exact statement: "You don't kiss with cake and ice cream!"

Sarah Carter (@mathequalslove)

Friday 3rd of March 2017



Tuesday 14th of February 2017

Kids are hilarious. On Monday I arrived at work and was met by "Hi Miss Carter, can you teach me how to count to 60 in Chinese?"

Sarah Carter (@mathequalslove)

Friday 3rd of March 2017

So, can you count to 60 in Chinese? ;)