Things Teenagers Say: Volume 44

It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long since I posted Volume 43 of Things Teenagers Say!  I guess that just means my students have been on a roll lately…

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You’re a math teacher.  You shouldn’t be talking about alliteration!

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Did you know that mom spelled backwards is mom?

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I know how to play this game.  I’m like a geek at Battleship!

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I like your one earring.  I don’t care how you lost the other one, so don’t tell me the story.

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You glittered all over my bag!

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Student 1: She’s bullying me with money.
Me: What?!?
Student 2: I won’t give him a dollar

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Guys!  Use your inside heads!

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I’m so particular about my shoe laces.

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Yesterday, you were dressed like a banana.  Today, you’re dressed like an unpeeled banana.

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Student 1: My marker is going out.
Student 2: Hey, at least you finally got someone to go out with you.

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Student 1: I have a hair in my sock.
Student 2: I have a foot in my sock.

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Student 1: I HATE Chinese food.
Student 2: And, Chinese food HATES you!

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I’m going to file a bullying report on you for not wearing socks.

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My future plans are to marry a rich old man and die young in my 30’s.

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Heroin is bad for your health.  Cocaine isn’t as bad for your health.

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I have more chins than friends.

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A student describing their dream: 

You were dead because you got into a polygamist husband fight.

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Student 1: What happened to your sister?
Student 2: All I know is that she did SOMETHING to her knee, and they are going to have to do SOMETHING to her knee.

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Student 1: What does your bracelet say?
Student 2: Ecuador.
Student 3: Isn’t Ecuador the place where they build floors?

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Mr. Carter should wear a suit covered in Christmas lights to prom since he is the light of your life.

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Student: I just noticed that lifeguard is misspelled in this problem.
Me: Oops.
Student: Yeah, it’s life G – U – A – R – D.
Me: That’s how you spell lifeguard.
Student: Is it?  My friend used to be a lifeguard, and he always told me it was spelled G – A – U – R – D.

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Student: Would you ever date a communist?
Me: Given that I’m married, no I would not date a communist.
Student: What if Mr. Carter wasn’t in the picture?

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Student 1: There’s a peculiar stain on the carpet in the back of your classroom.  I wish to know what happened.
Student 2: That’s where she killed…
Student 1: …George Clooney.  I know.
Student 3: George Clooney is dead?!?

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Recent Volumes of Things Teenagers Say

• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 61
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 60
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 59
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 58
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 57
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 56
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 55
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 54
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 53
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 52
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 51
• 
  Things Teenagers Say: Volume 50